stealing a car for moe.

I have trouble finding the time to sit here & think long enough to actually write down anything of substance that won't either upset me or bore you. So, my lack of blogging is not for selfish reasons.

Spring Break was amazing. The after effects, not so much. I won't get into it. It's almost mind-numbing how one night can change so much--your happiness, your view of yourself, make you finally question why you make certain choices (whether you remember said choices or not). Because there isn't anything I can do to fix what I've done, all I can do is work on bettering myself & forgetting him. I'm so used to open-minded, non-judgemental people. I expected to chat about it & move on (& not in the sense that I'm being forced to do).

Who hasn't had a few bad days here & there? I know everything will blow over.--the money, the slight pain, the never-ending schoolwork. I keep my head up. I pray more than someone who lives the life I live probably SHOULD pray... or maybe I'm the type that should be praying more than those who follow Him properly. Is there a proper way to follow Him? Am I getting way off topic? It's my blog. Plus, one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons is on. Who can be upset at a time like this?!

Courtni has become all too familiar with my new motto: "I need all the physical pain possible to take away the emotional pain." All I want to do is run around Downtown Clarksville until we've passed the same homeless man a good 10 times. I lift until I cry, I've got bruises all over myself from straining, it hurts to sleep, but this is how I get better. I hate times like this--the times when it's hard to see exactly what makes life SO perfect, exciting, fun, etc. "Time heals everything." I know that more than anybody. I guess I needed this time to actually step back for a second & realize that I do need to grow up.

It was Spring Break, though (haha)

Good people do stupid things. Good people are judged for those stupid things & often not looked at as good people. Those people who judge should never cross my mind again, though. The people who know & love me are all that matter. Those who never take the time to know me... well, I guess it's fate that I never got to know them either.

On a happy note, I'm going to need addresses asap cause THIS girl is graduating! Happy note = scared to death. I'm putting everything in God's hands now (along with a little hard work on my part). I'm ready to have a goal. I realized the other day that it's been a long time since I really, really worked hard for something. I want a nice little job. I want to study so hard for my GMAT next semester & get into grad school. I want my MBA. I never in a million years thought I'd be the girl graduating college, much less looking forward to grad school. I've always been the average student. I've always been ok with that. I've made it through college by the skin of my teeth... but I made it, right?? Let's look on the bright side :)

I should write a newspaper article... "22 & Single". It's not as fun as it sounds.