& this one isn't exciting, either.

I'm waiting for my laundry to dry. That laundry room should be condemned. Terrifying.

Work is turning me into a paranoid-schizophrenic. Can I become friends with someone higher up or are they plotting against me? Will everything I say be twisted & misconstrued to make me look like a terrible person/employee? Who, exactly, can I trust? Am I still in middle school?

I can be just as sneaky. Don't worry. I'm just afraid of who I'm working for. This week has been full of changes & drama like you wouldn't believe. The higher-ups screwing over people. Some of the shadiest deals I've ever seen (& I watch A LOT of tv.) People are coniving. Trying to constantly get into your head. Seriously, I can't go into detail, but I wish I could explain this.

"Do not let work roll over into your LIFE."

That's good advice I'm having trouble taking. Seeing as I'm there, with the same people day in & day out, 40 hours a week. I see them more than I see anybody. I'm there more than I'm home. I talk to my customers more than I talk to my friends. It makes me wonder if I even really have a life anymore.

And also makes me wonder if this is worth it. Every paycheck I get is gone at least 2 days after I get it. I have a single digit amount of money to last me until the 1st. Is this worth it? When I could maybe be living at home, saving money, paying back my debts I can't pay because everything I have goes to my current bills... This is kinda like torture. I try to see it as a game. It makes the pre-paycheck days go by faster. Just another one of His tests. I can get through this. I just feel so helpless. Weak. I can't fail.

I miss how everything used to be. I hear children outside my door. I hope I don't drop my laundry basket on them.